Seven months later, I’m back in the US. And I have mixed feelings about life.
Before I left for my last contract on the (beautiful) Celebrity Equinox, I was loving everything. Job security, travel, cool people, I had it all. Then something changed. I wanted an apartment and a normal job where I could see a future. I mean, how frustrating is it to work your ass off day after day knowing that no one will ever actually help you move up with the company? That’s not for me.
Sure, I have had some absolutely amazing experiences and I’ve seen things I definitely couldn’t afford to see on my own right now, but I’m at a stage in life where I have the energy and drive to find a job I’m passionate about. Working on ships is tricky. You work with a team of people from all over the world, meaning not everyone has the same values and work ethic. This can be an issue. On top of that, everyone is expendable. Seriously, I’ve seen people fired at 6am and told to be off the ship by 8am. At the end of the day, no one really cares about your career because they’re more focused on themselves. Understandable, but when you’re in Europe and the only way you can share your career goals with the home office is through your manager (who would rather discuss how he can hook up with your friend than your future with the company), there really isn’t much you can do.
I’m on vacation right now, so there is always a chance I’ll go back. It’s not likely, but if they offer me the right itinerary, who am I to say no? (That means Asia/South America, just an FYI home office) My big issue at the moment is that I let myself become so comfortable with this job, I forgot what I really wanted to do with my life. I no longer remember what it’s like to see a job posting and want it so badly you get nervous typing the cover letter. I don’t know where I want to go or what my dreams are. How do you figure out what makes you tick?
I’m giving myself one month to soul search and rediscover what the fuck I plan to do with my life.